January 04, 2010

Not Me Monday- Holiday Edition



Are you ready for this?  It was a rather um, interesting week to say the least.  If you are a Not Me fan and want to read more, be sure to go here.

To begin with (and I'll warm you up with the benign), I most certainly did not become inspired to do something with these...


some potatoes that I had accidentally left to freeze out on our side porch thus rendering them a balloon like consistency.  A friend of mine told me how to hand dehydrate them over a few days and then fry them in egg.  The way she went on and on about it, I was hooked.  

Except...

It most certainly was not me who came home from our holiday trip to find the potatoes moldy, not so dehydrated and stinkin' to high heaven.


By 8am on Christmas morning, I didn't find Bear so very grumpy and irritating after Papa went to work that I rigged this


out of my Moby wrap.  I mean, if I couldn't find directions for how to do this at Moby's site, then I most certainly wouldn't barrel ahead with the idea just because I think they should promote a back carry regardless of how safe it is * 

Once Bear and I snapped back into the Christmas Spirit  and began to tidy up the house, you can bet I didn't find this puzzling collection



inside the carpet sweeper.  I mean, honestly, as a quality Mama, I would most certainly know to check my sweeper for silverware before using it.  All carpet sweeper users must know that rule, right?! 

While I was preparing our Christmas dinner, in no way did I find Bear taking our Nativity camel for a walk.


No way, uh, uh.  You see, I have taught Bear to value our Nativity set and to never ever treat the camel as a pull toy.

Once the holiday weekend was over, Champ and I did not load our entire family and all our holiday stuff in to the car like a Tetras puzzle only to have to pull over IN THE MIDDLE OF ALBANY less than an hour later because Bear had to "bowel".

You can bet your bottom dollar that we did not conduct this procedure at a truck pull off right before the Thruway because clearly, there would have been no place to put Bear's "bowel" once he went.  Thank goodness we are way more considerate than that.

As we continued our trip to Pennsylvania to visit with family, we did not get pulled over once,



twice, no three times due to a missing headlight because we certainly would have noticed the light blew out before having left on our trip.  We absolutely would have taken care of it then and there so as to not have to deal with dogs barking and babies waking during every single blessed police stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After heading home from Pennsylvania where we enjoyed our family and friends and took a moment to fix the headlight, we didn't just assume that our ride home would be uneventful.  Champ and I didn't just expect some sort of holiday calm in all of this which is why, when we hit this traffic  



I most certainly remained calm and serene.

Even though we were stuck for enough time to see the sun set.  

Even though the dogs' panting began to stink up the entire car. 

Even though Bear woke up from his nap, oh 5 minutes into the whole ordeal.

Yeah.  Not me, indeed. 



* no worries, Bear didn't fall out of the Moby and my new Toddlerhawk back carrier arrived today, thank goodness!!


3 comments:

Shell said...

What a crazy week! Pulled over 3 times? Wow.

Allison said...

AHHHH HHHAAAA HAAA HAAA HAA! We got pulled over too that weekend! Ugh! Great post. Thanks for the laugh :)

Darlene said...

I absolutely LOVE this post and am cracking up all the way through it!!!!

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